Identify Identity

Feb is UP Fair time. Each year I make time to go there and see what's going on. The Fair is open to all so you get to see different kinds of people. Students, career people, Koreans, punks,rastamans, and in particular, a category of seemingly "troubled" kids aka "balara boys", "palakpak boys", "jologs" etc. This year I noticed the usual "troubled kids" sporting a new look.

First, the outfit. The guys, they wear those tight body shirt hanging from their small frames, exposing their bellybuttons paired with a low and tight, underwear-exposing skinny jeans that make identifying gay people from most-of-the-time-straight people an uneasy past time. They usually love to put a little silvery accent to their whole appearance that comes in many forms. It can be something embedded to the belt, glued to their shirts, chained or pierced to their skins, microwaved to their bodies etc. And of course the shoes. They all look the same. Converse or converse looking all-star chenesbars. But I have to commend those who attempt to deviate from this stereotype and maximize whatever they have. One kid wore one shoe different from the other pair in style and color. Way to go!

Then the Hair. They sport their 'do "half-cooked". A portion of the hair heavily gelled that somewhat resembled a shark's fin, pinned to the skull, sometimes erect as how it should be and sometimes flaccid like an elephant's ear (only it's piano black), a part hurricane exposed, and the rest greased with sleaze. And as if still bored and unsatisfied with their heavily textured hair look, some even put a little spray of color courtesy of Rainbow Brite.

The face. I guess the magic comes from the eyes. Their mascaraed sad eyes, broadcasting messages of loneliness and apathy.

I do not know if they're 'emo' but a friend told me they're called "bollocks". I still have to know what that means and how did they arrive to calling them that.

I did not put much of an attention to the girls though. In that kind of setting, whatever they wear, they all look the same to me. ;-)

For those who care, my reflections on what this means to me will be posted soon.

About my Adventures

I turned the volume of my telephone down to the minimum. I set my mobile phone to 'silent' mode. I made this virtual fortress where I can hide. I am certain she will call. My boss did not accept my resignation. She asked me to let her be selfish for now and that all of that selfishness is intended for my career and experience. I believed her. Now, I have not been going to work for 9 days. Ironically, I have anticipated this jolt in my life and I just do not know when it will come. Slowly, it crept into my consciousness, enveloping me inside a realm of expansion. And then, a faint beep. It is done. I am free.

Well almost free. My heart pulsates in a very uncomfortable manner whenever the phone rings. I am still being haunted by the ghosts of action. There is a term for what I did. Absent Without Leave. AWoL. One of the most unprofessional moves an employee could ever make. I pulled one and it makes me a very bad person in general. There will be consequences but like what the song in my head is saying, "Non, je ne regrette rien".

I should and will face the trouble I have gotten my self into. As what I have told my ex-officemate few days earlier, I already have a foot outside the door, and the only options I’ve got are leave and move on and face the humps and bumps ahead or fly away, soar above the seas of uncertainties and discover new opportunities ahead.

Now, this is the introduction of this new chapter in my life and I choose to be free for now. I am not completely out of the woods yet but what the hell, I cannot dwell on the feeling of insecurity and inadequacy.

So now, I welcome you to my adventures!